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The stranded Christians

-7 points, 1485 views, 2 days ago

Two Christians were stranded in the Sahara desert on their way to Libya.

One was called David and the other was called Christian. They were terribly dying of hunger and thirst when they suddenly came upon an oasis with what looked like an emirate with a mosque in the middle. David said to Christian “Let’s pretend to be Muslims otherwise we will not get food or drink. I am going to call myself Muhammad Gambo”
Christian refused to change his name “My name is Christian and I will not pretend to be what I am not”. Okay, don’t say I didn’t warn you, replied David.

When they got there, the Imam of the Mosque received both of them well and asked for their names. David
said “My name is Muhammad Gambo” while Christian said “My name is Christian”.

The Imam turned to the helpers of the Mosque and said “Please bring some food and water for Christian only.” Then he turned to the other and said “Well Muhammad Gambo, since you are a confirmed Muslim I’m sure you remember that we are still in the month of Ramadan and you can therefore not break your fast now?

David fainted.

Peacock son

-1 points, 517 views, 2 days ago

An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked
hair which he dyed in different colors: green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.

The old man just kept staring at him. Every time the young man looked, the old man was staring. The young man finally
said sarcastically, “What’s the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?”
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, “I got drunk once and slept with a peacock. I was just wondering
if you were my son.

The religious Lady and the atheist

5 points, 749 views, 2 days ago

An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it.
She would stand on her front porch and shout “PRAISE THE LORD!”. Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, “There ain’t no Lord!!”
Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted “PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HARD TIME. PLEASE LORD, SEND ME

The next morning the lady went out on her porch and found a large bag of provisions and food items, filled with joy she shouted, “PRAISE THE LORD.”
The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, “Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries and left them at your door step, God didn’t.”
The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and said, “PRAISE THE LORD. He not only sent me
provisions, but He made the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord!”

Akpors is not so dumb

-1 points, 1393 views, 2 days ago

Akpors enters a barber shop. The barber whispers to his customer:
BARBER: This is the dumbest boy in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.
The barber puts a N50 note in one hand and two N10 notes in the other, then calls Akpors and says:
BARBER: Which do you want, boy?
Akpos takes the two N10 notes and leaves.
The barber turned to his customer and said, you see, I told you he is really dumb.

CUSTOMER: Well I’m guessing he is just a little confused now, he can’t make that mistake twice.

BARBER: I really doubt it, just wait and I’ll prove it to you again. (The barber calls Akpors back into the store one more time and offers him the same deal, once again to the surprise of the customer, Akpors picked the 2 N10 notes instead of the N50 note).

BARBER: What did I tell you? Akpos never learns!

Minutes later, when the customer left, he sees Akpors coming out of the ice cream store.
CUSTOMER: Akpors, May I ask you a question? You are obviously old enough to know that 2 N10 notes make up N20 which is less than N50, why do you keep  picking the N10 notes instead?

Akpors smiles and says: That barber is always so eager to prove to customers that I am dumb that everyday I get money for ice-cream from his little game. The day I take the fifty naira note, the game will definitely be over, so it’s better I act stupid and collect N20 everyday.